If you're a sports fan, this is the most wonderful time of the year - you get to watch baseball, the basketball playoffs are heating up, and NFL Draft guru Mel Kiper, Jr. has disappeared into his bat cave for another 9 months. Hooray!
Of course, if you're a CLEVELAND sports fan, it's just more of the same old nonsense they dish up in each and every postseason - regardless of the team.
Last night was terrible, folks, if you love your Cleveland Cavaliers. They really, REALLY stunk it up at the Gardens in Beantown. And, the only reason they didn't get totally SLAUGHTERED, is that Boston wasn't playing all that well either. The only thing we really had to contend with last night was the beast that is Kevin Garnett. LeBron was awful. My God, he had more turnovers than anything else. For once, I was glad to be in a bar, and therefore unable to hear what matter of ridiculous nonsense Charles Barkley was spewing during the TNT Halftime report. That's usually the highlight of my evening, but last night I was thankful for the loud 70's arena rock pumping over the speakers. Except when they started playing "More Than A Feeling". You know, by BOSTON.
And now to explain the title of this post.
If you're in a public place watching a sporting event, you don't wait until the final five minutes of the game to start cheering LOUDLY every time the winning team does something. Because that makes you a bandwagon-jumping frontrunner. And, when you're a female bandwagon-jumping frontrunner, it doesn't make you look hot. In fact, chances are the guy you're trying to impress thinks you're dumber than maybe he originally suspected. I hate to be so mean, but I have hung around enough guys to know how annoying they think bandwagon-jumpers are, regardless of how nice a rack said frontrunner has.
My question is - where were all these people last year, when Boston was purposely tanking at the end of their season to improve their chances in the draft lottery? And did they get punished for losing on purpose? No! They signed Garnett and Allen and dominated in the East this year! That makes these late-hour frontrunner shenanigans even more loathsome to real sports fans.
Of course, its an epidemic in the Boston sporting world right now. They're the new New York of sports - their football team - evil spawns of satan that they all are - is shamefully good if unable to "finish the job" so to speak, their baseball team is en fuego, and they quite possibly have the best trio on their basketball court since the days of Byrd/Parrish/McHale. Nevermind that people were sitting in the Garden at Celtics games last year with PAPER BAGS OVER THEIR HEADS!!!
I just hope I don't have to scrap with someone before the playoffs are over. I started running my mouth a bit last night, before we left said bar, at which point my boyfriend informed me that he will leave me if I get him into a fistfight over sports.
- as opposed to a fistfight over what?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
I Got Nothin'...Except a Mini-Rant
Yep. Nothing to tell ya. My life is so boring right now, in fact, that it's a miracle I'm still here. I should have died from inertia by now.
What do you talk about when your job is boring, your home life is boring, and you're just too damned lazy to take control of any of it?
Well, when you're me you talk about the fact that IT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WEARING UGGS IN MAY! My new slogan is "It's May! Put the Goddamn UGGS Away!"
I know you bitches paid a mint for those sorry excuses for boots, but it's time to let them go for a season. Besides - why would you want to put those sheepskin lined things on your feet when its warm out? Does your foot odor smell that good? I mean, I have a whole section of shoes in my closet that may not get a pardon to return for next year, they're that ripe. I cannot imagine what those boots smell like at this point.
I think some people are just more retarded than others. I guess I should take solace in the fact that, despite being completely unentertaining, I am not retarded.
Great.
What do you talk about when your job is boring, your home life is boring, and you're just too damned lazy to take control of any of it?
Well, when you're me you talk about the fact that IT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WEARING UGGS IN MAY! My new slogan is "It's May! Put the Goddamn UGGS Away!"
I know you bitches paid a mint for those sorry excuses for boots, but it's time to let them go for a season. Besides - why would you want to put those sheepskin lined things on your feet when its warm out? Does your foot odor smell that good? I mean, I have a whole section of shoes in my closet that may not get a pardon to return for next year, they're that ripe. I cannot imagine what those boots smell like at this point.
I think some people are just more retarded than others. I guess I should take solace in the fact that, despite being completely unentertaining, I am not retarded.
Great.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Open Season on the Idiots Declared
I think, if I am to survive the summer on my bike without being arrested for "accidentally" kicking someone into the lake, I need to find a route home that does not involve me getting on the lakefront path.
The urge is just too tempting, when there are three yapping Trixies walking side by side on the narrow path, or "jogging" - and everybody is swerving into oncoming traffic to get around them, because they WON'T MOVE.
Or they're trying to ride their bike while talking on their cell phone, and they swerve right in front of you.
Too tempting, I tell you.
I think Bob Dylan inadvertently penned the anthem of the Trixies when he wrote his song Idiot Wind, with the following refrain:
"You're an idiot, babe, it's a wonder that you still know how to breathe."
Right?
The urge is just too tempting, when there are three yapping Trixies walking side by side on the narrow path, or "jogging" - and everybody is swerving into oncoming traffic to get around them, because they WON'T MOVE.
Or they're trying to ride their bike while talking on their cell phone, and they swerve right in front of you.
Too tempting, I tell you.
I think Bob Dylan inadvertently penned the anthem of the Trixies when he wrote his song Idiot Wind, with the following refrain:
"You're an idiot, babe, it's a wonder that you still know how to breathe."
Right?
Friday, April 18, 2008
Oh The Person I Could Be...
So apparently the whole "ride your bike to work" plan is going to take some getting used to.
I rode in today, because I woke up this morning and could not bear to do another day on the godforsaken bus. And so I got dressed, threw my hair in pigtails, packed crap in my bag, slung it over my back, and hopped on my bike.
I was feeling pretty good about myself until the first guy went WHIZZING by me at, seriously, 35 miles per hour. I didn't feel so bad at first, because I figured he was one of those hipster bike dudes and that's what they do...but then EVERYONE started whizzing by me. Then I felt inferior and fat, slow and old. Really, really old, I might add.
We're doing Bike the Drive at work this year, and I figure I have from now until May 25 to get my ass in good enough shape to do this thing. Otherwise all my co-workers are going to be leaving me in the dust, and that would not be so good. I've determined that a spinning class once a week, and time on the stationary bike as part of my cardio workout might help.
Oh, and slogging it in on my bike on the nice days, even if I do get lapped by every other biker on the path. I can only get better, right?
So I feel kinda guilty - I feel like I phoned it in making my dog list 6 things about herself. I feel like maybe I disappointed Colleen. So here's six quick things:
1. I'm OCD about cutting up the rings that 6-packs come in. I always fret about the fish or bird out there that might get tangled up and die.
2. Like Colleen, if I don't do my morning routine in order, I am liable to forget something. Today I forgot to pack my makeup bag and so now I'm sitting here with no face. Thank God it's Friday and almost everyone is out today. But seriously, sometimes the things I forget to do...you'd think a 28-year old woman could handle it, but without a routine I am hopeless. I told my co-worker yesterday, as we were walking up from Grand to catch the Michigan bus, I am kind of a disaster, and that just has to be ok. This was after I had tripped on a curb.
3. This one isn't very original, but I love making lists. I make lists of everything. When I make to-do lists I will add tasks I've already done, just so I can cross them off. (Again, not very original, but at least the other OCD list-makers out there now know they aren't alone) My workplan at work is an excel spreadsheet with color coding. I love it, and without it I would get nothing done. Really. Nothing.
4. I have an absolutely out-of-control paper fetish. I don't really have any paper-realted hobbies, really, besides journaling, but I love paper. One of my best friends works at the Paper Source. So far it's been ok, but some day I see myself dropping quite a load at their warehouse - and not on anything I really need.
5. If you could lose weight simply by knowing everything there is to know about fitness and nutrition, I would be the healthiest woman on the planet. You'd think I would practice what I preach, and man I'm trying these days, but seriously - if the sheer power of my brain was enough....sadly, it's not.
6. I have three books I need - seriously NEED to read once a year: The Sun Also Rises, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, On the Road. Something is missing in my life until I find time to sit down and catch up with Ernie, Milan, and Jack.
And that's about it. Not very interesting, perhaps, but at least I feel better about taking the easy way out with my dog. Not to mention it is kind of odd to write an entire post from her point of view...even if that is what she would sound like if she could talk. And sometimes I wonder if maybe she can...
I rode in today, because I woke up this morning and could not bear to do another day on the godforsaken bus. And so I got dressed, threw my hair in pigtails, packed crap in my bag, slung it over my back, and hopped on my bike.
I was feeling pretty good about myself until the first guy went WHIZZING by me at, seriously, 35 miles per hour. I didn't feel so bad at first, because I figured he was one of those hipster bike dudes and that's what they do...but then EVERYONE started whizzing by me. Then I felt inferior and fat, slow and old. Really, really old, I might add.
We're doing Bike the Drive at work this year, and I figure I have from now until May 25 to get my ass in good enough shape to do this thing. Otherwise all my co-workers are going to be leaving me in the dust, and that would not be so good. I've determined that a spinning class once a week, and time on the stationary bike as part of my cardio workout might help.
Oh, and slogging it in on my bike on the nice days, even if I do get lapped by every other biker on the path. I can only get better, right?
So I feel kinda guilty - I feel like I phoned it in making my dog list 6 things about herself. I feel like maybe I disappointed Colleen. So here's six quick things:
1. I'm OCD about cutting up the rings that 6-packs come in. I always fret about the fish or bird out there that might get tangled up and die.
2. Like Colleen, if I don't do my morning routine in order, I am liable to forget something. Today I forgot to pack my makeup bag and so now I'm sitting here with no face. Thank God it's Friday and almost everyone is out today. But seriously, sometimes the things I forget to do...you'd think a 28-year old woman could handle it, but without a routine I am hopeless. I told my co-worker yesterday, as we were walking up from Grand to catch the Michigan bus, I am kind of a disaster, and that just has to be ok. This was after I had tripped on a curb.
3. This one isn't very original, but I love making lists. I make lists of everything. When I make to-do lists I will add tasks I've already done, just so I can cross them off. (Again, not very original, but at least the other OCD list-makers out there now know they aren't alone) My workplan at work is an excel spreadsheet with color coding. I love it, and without it I would get nothing done. Really. Nothing.
4. I have an absolutely out-of-control paper fetish. I don't really have any paper-realted hobbies, really, besides journaling, but I love paper. One of my best friends works at the Paper Source. So far it's been ok, but some day I see myself dropping quite a load at their warehouse - and not on anything I really need.
5. If you could lose weight simply by knowing everything there is to know about fitness and nutrition, I would be the healthiest woman on the planet. You'd think I would practice what I preach, and man I'm trying these days, but seriously - if the sheer power of my brain was enough....sadly, it's not.
6. I have three books I need - seriously NEED to read once a year: The Sun Also Rises, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, On the Road. Something is missing in my life until I find time to sit down and catch up with Ernie, Milan, and Jack.
And that's about it. Not very interesting, perhaps, but at least I feel better about taking the easy way out with my dog. Not to mention it is kind of odd to write an entire post from her point of view...even if that is what she would sound like if she could talk. And sometimes I wonder if maybe she can...
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
And Now, A Word From Gracie
So Mommy's blogfriend Colleen tagged her for a "6 Quirky Things About Me" Meme. Well, Mommy wasn't feeling very inspired to find 6 things about herself that were quirky. She doesn't consider purposefully beating butt-pivoters with her purse, writing her blog from her dog's point of view, or talking back to Greeny and Golic on the tv "quirky" traits - definitely crazy tendencies, but not "quirky" traits.
In fact, most days I think Mommy wonders how soon she's going to be out in the middle of the road directing traffic in her nightgown with her bra on her head - to borrow a turn of phrase from Mommy's favorite successful former-hot mess Aunt Purl. I hope it is not soon, as I need to be fed and - while I love my Daddy and Uncle Ed to death - they're not so good at those "constant care" things.
Mommy didn't want to disappoint her nice blogfriend, who she told me she'd like to meet for coffee someday and interview for this blog (HINT HINT), so Mommy asked me to share 6 Quirky Things About Me instead. Ok.
1. You know how crackheads twitch uncontrollably when they're jonesing for a high? Well, that's how I act when my Daddy gives me peanut butter. I love peanut butter, and would eat it for every meal if I could (and probably would, if Mommy wasn't around to make sure I got fed real food), but when my Daddy puts it in my Kong, or offers it to me on his finger, I go nuts. I hop around, twitch, slam my paws on the ground, and generally act like a retarded spaz for about five minutes before I'll finally take it. Usually Daddy has to lay the Kong down for me to calm down enough to start licking it out.
2. I may be a tiny little Boston Terrier, but I am a world class swimmer. In fact, I swim laps around all those lab bitches at the beach, and send their mommies into tizzies. They come shrieking up to my Uncle Ed or my daddy - "Oh my gosh! She's going to drown! Oh oh oh!". To which they usually reply "uh, no, she's fine" and look at these women like they're the retarded spaz. Besides, even if I was having trouble, nobody is going to let me drown. I'm sure even my Grandma Jan would have waded into the water at Montrose Beach last summer if I had needed help. But yeah, I'm an excellent little swimmer. Uncle Ed tells me I look like a wet rat. Thanks, Uncle Ed.
3. I really enjoy being the troublemaker at the dog park/beach. I get all the other dogs chasing me, or I dig up dead fish and cause a ruckus with my pals, and all the humans are screeching and running around trying to get their dogs away from me. Or the mess I've found. Apparently, because I am rather small, everybody thinks I'm too weak or fragile to play with the other dogs. Stupid yuppy humans. I'll kill their yellow lab named Wrigley.
4. I love stuffed animal toys. Stuffed other objects - meh, ok - but I love me some teddy bears and stuffed pink Victoria Secret complimentary-with-mommy's-six-new-pairs-of-panties dogs. Upon being given a new stuffed animal I immediately rip out the eyes and nose, and commence with pulling every bit of stuffing I can get my little paws and jaws on out of it. Mommy loathes this, as she is the one who usually walks around behind me picking fluff up off the floor. If I can't have a stuffed animal, I prefer these crazy rubber chickens in bikinis that my Grandma Jan somewhow finds for me. The squeaking drives my humans bonkers, but I love it. While we're on the topic of toys, Mommy says I'm just like a real human child - the minute she picks all my toys up that are strewn throughout the house, and put them back in my little toybox, I come along right behind her and pull all of them back out again. Don't pick my toys up Mommy. It will save you a lot of time, and me a lot of digging and rooting around.
5. I have a lot of nicknames - including stinky, smee mcphee, killer, poopy, puparooni, baby doggy...my Mommy gets a real kick out of calling me everything but Gracie.
6. I am a gassy animal. I drive my humans nuts, and off the couch, when I snuggle down with them and let one rip. And, each night after I finish my dinner, I pay special homage to my Aunt Brooke by letting loose with a healthy burp. My Mommy and Daddy stop whatever they're doing each night and wait for it, then giggle like a couple of fifth graders. I think I almost made my Grandma Jan wet her pants the first time I did it in front of her, she was laughing so hard. I can't help it and really, I don't know any better. Gas hurts. From what I can tell, its a damn sight better than some of the other nasty things I've done. Sorry Mommy.
Mommy's blogfriend told her to tag other people to do this when she is done. So she said I should tag Mood Indigo, Monica, and WithLoveFatGirl - because those are the only other blogfriends she has who haven't done this yet. So go do it. And Colleen, talk to Mo about reaching my Mommy.
Ok, I'm tired now. I think I'll go curl up in my new flannel bed and take a nap. Bye.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Misery Loves Company. Or Cleveland.
But apparently, not enough.
This morning on Mike & Mike, they were reviewing the list of the Top 10 Most Miserable Sports Cities in the Nation, a list done up by Forbes magazine. The criteria for misery, supposedly, was that multiple teams perform so poorly, the plight of the fan is to be pitied by the rest of the sports world.
And yet, the city fondly known as the Mistake by the Lake only ranked 8th on the list.
8th????!!!!!
8th?????!!!!!
Where is sports misery more evident than in Cleveland? And who did this list, a trained chimpanzee? Here's a rundown of the top 7 teams in front of Cleveland, and why NONE of them deserve to be in front of C-town.
1. Atlanta - YOU HAD THE BRAVES THROUGH MOST OF THE EARLY 90's. And, how many World Series titles? Pfft.
2. Seattle - Seattle only deserves to be on this list, period, because of the current Hell Supersonics fans are being put through as the greedy owners of the NBA team and the Commissioner continue conspiring to move the team to Oklahoma. Otherwise, let's not forget the Sonics of the 90's with Kemp, Schrempf, and domination in the West.
3. Buffalo - Ok. Here's a city that might warrant a spot in this top 10 list, but definitely not in front of Cleveland. You had Jim Kelley and the Bills, and their great run in the late 80's. Next.
4. Phoenix - It's not our fault neither Charles Barkley or Steve Nash can carry a team to an NBA title. And nobody's crying for the Arizona Diamondbacks either.
5. San Diego - Ok, here's another city that maybe - MAYBE - has a place on this list, but definitely not a 5 ranking. You have LaDainian Tomlinson. Make it work. It's your fault you traded for Milton Bradley. Everybody knows he's a baseball team's equivalent of kryptonite.
6. Houston - Houston is in Texas, which by itself is reason enough for misery. Still, you had a decent Rockets team back in the day. The 'stros might make some noise this year. But, that would be a shame if they finally did it after Bagwell and Biggio retired. Bummer.
7. Denver - Let's not even get into why this is not acceptable. Does everyone forget the Broncos? If you're from the Cleveland area, there is NO WAY you forget the agony John Elway inflicted on you every year for a good run there in the mid to late 80's.
8. Cleveland - Yep. 8th.
9. Philadelphia - You have the crappiest sports fans in the nation. They boo the home team, regularly. Who cares if they're miserable?
10. Minneapolis - Natalie, I know you feel the pain here. Of all the other cities on this list, I think this one is the only one that comes close to understanding the pain, the frustration, and the agony of sports fandom that a die-hard Cleveland fan has suffered through the years. For them, Kevin Garnett was what LeBron will be to Cleveland in another year or so, when he finally leaves for JayZ and the Brooklyn Nets. And still, it's only been 17 years since that city has seen a championship title.
Of all the teams on this list only one has gone more years than Cleveland without a title - and that's San Diego at 45 years. It's been 44 YEARS in Cleveland, folks, 60 since the Indians have won a World Series. Have you met a Cleveland fan? And don't give me that "No, but I know a lot of Cubs fans" crap. Cubs fans are the biggest masochists on the planet. And they had Ditka and the Bears, Jordan - oh let's just stop there.
Cleveland sports fans are just pitiful. My boyfriend, my best friends, my brother, my father - all pitiful to behold every post-season, when the [insert cleveland team here] warps into the world's biggest group of choke artists the world has ever known. Sometimes with a 3-0 lead over another team, ahem Tribe. My heart bleeds for them. I was shocked, and angered this morning, when I saw their ranking on that list. There has never been a more miserable city for sports than Cleveland, Ohio, and there never will be until the Tribe wins the Series, the Browns have a ring, and the Cavs wipe the snoozy Spurs off the court in 4 games, instead of the other way around.
Boy, was THAT embarrassing.
And Golic, a Cleveland-area native, doesn't even defend his hometown. What gives? I root for the Yankees (despite my sincere desire for a sports divorce), I can't claim to be a Browns fan, and my love of the Cavs only blossomed when I met my hubby and actually started watching basketball regularly, but I feel the need to defend them. Am I just too empathetic?
Anyway, this has been gnawing at me this morning.
This morning on Mike & Mike, they were reviewing the list of the Top 10 Most Miserable Sports Cities in the Nation, a list done up by Forbes magazine. The criteria for misery, supposedly, was that multiple teams perform so poorly, the plight of the fan is to be pitied by the rest of the sports world.
And yet, the city fondly known as the Mistake by the Lake only ranked 8th on the list.
8th????!!!!!
8th?????!!!!!
Where is sports misery more evident than in Cleveland? And who did this list, a trained chimpanzee? Here's a rundown of the top 7 teams in front of Cleveland, and why NONE of them deserve to be in front of C-town.
1. Atlanta - YOU HAD THE BRAVES THROUGH MOST OF THE EARLY 90's. And, how many World Series titles? Pfft.
2. Seattle - Seattle only deserves to be on this list, period, because of the current Hell Supersonics fans are being put through as the greedy owners of the NBA team and the Commissioner continue conspiring to move the team to Oklahoma. Otherwise, let's not forget the Sonics of the 90's with Kemp, Schrempf, and domination in the West.
3. Buffalo - Ok. Here's a city that might warrant a spot in this top 10 list, but definitely not in front of Cleveland. You had Jim Kelley and the Bills, and their great run in the late 80's. Next.
4. Phoenix - It's not our fault neither Charles Barkley or Steve Nash can carry a team to an NBA title. And nobody's crying for the Arizona Diamondbacks either.
5. San Diego - Ok, here's another city that maybe - MAYBE - has a place on this list, but definitely not a 5 ranking. You have LaDainian Tomlinson. Make it work. It's your fault you traded for Milton Bradley. Everybody knows he's a baseball team's equivalent of kryptonite.
6. Houston - Houston is in Texas, which by itself is reason enough for misery. Still, you had a decent Rockets team back in the day. The 'stros might make some noise this year. But, that would be a shame if they finally did it after Bagwell and Biggio retired. Bummer.
7. Denver - Let's not even get into why this is not acceptable. Does everyone forget the Broncos? If you're from the Cleveland area, there is NO WAY you forget the agony John Elway inflicted on you every year for a good run there in the mid to late 80's.
8. Cleveland - Yep. 8th.
9. Philadelphia - You have the crappiest sports fans in the nation. They boo the home team, regularly. Who cares if they're miserable?
10. Minneapolis - Natalie, I know you feel the pain here. Of all the other cities on this list, I think this one is the only one that comes close to understanding the pain, the frustration, and the agony of sports fandom that a die-hard Cleveland fan has suffered through the years. For them, Kevin Garnett was what LeBron will be to Cleveland in another year or so, when he finally leaves for JayZ and the Brooklyn Nets. And still, it's only been 17 years since that city has seen a championship title.
Of all the teams on this list only one has gone more years than Cleveland without a title - and that's San Diego at 45 years. It's been 44 YEARS in Cleveland, folks, 60 since the Indians have won a World Series. Have you met a Cleveland fan? And don't give me that "No, but I know a lot of Cubs fans" crap. Cubs fans are the biggest masochists on the planet. And they had Ditka and the Bears, Jordan - oh let's just stop there.
Cleveland sports fans are just pitiful. My boyfriend, my best friends, my brother, my father - all pitiful to behold every post-season, when the [insert cleveland team here] warps into the world's biggest group of choke artists the world has ever known. Sometimes with a 3-0 lead over another team, ahem Tribe. My heart bleeds for them. I was shocked, and angered this morning, when I saw their ranking on that list. There has never been a more miserable city for sports than Cleveland, Ohio, and there never will be until the Tribe wins the Series, the Browns have a ring, and the Cavs wipe the snoozy Spurs off the court in 4 games, instead of the other way around.
Boy, was THAT embarrassing.
And Golic, a Cleveland-area native, doesn't even defend his hometown. What gives? I root for the Yankees (despite my sincere desire for a sports divorce), I can't claim to be a Browns fan, and my love of the Cavs only blossomed when I met my hubby and actually started watching basketball regularly, but I feel the need to defend them. Am I just too empathetic?
Anyway, this has been gnawing at me this morning.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Fifty...Not So Nifty
Yep, this is the 50th "Official" post on this blog.
I say "official" because there have been a few that were written, and then scrapped when I had time to think it over and come to my senses about what I do and do not want to include on this thing.
For my 50th post, I thought we would delve into a recently discussed topic, with a special twist of my own: poop. More specifically, dog poop. Even more specifically, MY dog's poop.
Which was all over my bed this morning, along with vomit. Happy Thursday mommy, I eat crap off the floor nonstop and get into crap I have no business sniffing around in, and now you get to clean up my crap!!!! And, as if that wasn't AWESOME enough, vomit!!!! Love you lots!!! I'm going to sit here watching you clean up this awesome mess, while occasionally licking my butt!!!
Let's just say that my little dog was not a good ambassador for the cause of the children, human or canine, this morning. She definitely made envisioning myself as a mother to human spawn far, FAR less appealing.
How was your Thursday?
I say "official" because there have been a few that were written, and then scrapped when I had time to think it over and come to my senses about what I do and do not want to include on this thing.
For my 50th post, I thought we would delve into a recently discussed topic, with a special twist of my own: poop. More specifically, dog poop. Even more specifically, MY dog's poop.
Which was all over my bed this morning, along with vomit. Happy Thursday mommy, I eat crap off the floor nonstop and get into crap I have no business sniffing around in, and now you get to clean up my crap!!!! And, as if that wasn't AWESOME enough, vomit!!!! Love you lots!!! I'm going to sit here watching you clean up this awesome mess, while occasionally licking my butt!!!
Let's just say that my little dog was not a good ambassador for the cause of the children, human or canine, this morning. She definitely made envisioning myself as a mother to human spawn far, FAR less appealing.
How was your Thursday?
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